I finally did the first pass at the kiss scene I was ranting about a few days ago. It’s…all right. I’m not going to say that I love it, but I managed to preserve the funny/geeky tone I was going for and it did end up easier than I thought it would be.
First, a little bit of backstory. The main character, Leslie, is around 15-16 years old, and over-intellectualizes everything. This is her first date with Owen.
You’d think that they would teach you practical things in Health class. Yes, I realize the main point is to tell us not to get naked with each other, but a bunch of seventh graders could use a little basic knowledge. Like what to do if the guy you want to kiss is four inches taller—does he bend down or do you get up on tiptoes? And what about if you just drank hot chocolate so you’re not completely sure if your breath smells decent? There wasn’t really an unobtrusive way to check.
I was frozen on my porch by the realization that I had absolutely no clue about the mechanics of any of this. I couldn’t even figure out how to avoid the nose-bumping issue. Or how much to open my mouth so I hit the sweet spot between “slack-jawed zombie” and “my lips are vacuum-sealed.” Silently, I promised myself that when I had kids I would teach them proper kissing procedure along with where babies came from. Just so that they wouldn’t be trying to figure it out while standing on a wet porch with only a limited amount of time to actually do this thing before the rest of the family came home.
Owen looked at me, biting his lip. All the school gossip I’d heard had never linked him with anyone, either. But he had more adrenaline than me, apparently. In one motion his hand moved from my arm to the space on my back just below my bra (thank god) and then his mouth was pressed against mine.
Shock resulted in my being neither a zombie nor vacuum-sealed.
It was warm and very, very nice. Something small burst in my brain, because I was grinning like the girly-girl I’d never been.
After thirty seconds we needed air and pulled apart. What do you say after that?
“Thanks,” he said, then winced and retracted it. “So, um, good?”
“Good.” I nodded like a crazy person. Good grief, I’d been reduced to the vocabulary of a caveman. I backed towards the front door, while Owen sort of staggered down the porch steps. It had become a romantic staring contest. My hand found the doorknob. “Tomorrow? Ah—I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Great!” he grinned, and finally hit the sidewalk. I slipped inside the door and as soon as I was sure that there was no possible way he could hear me, I started giggling. It seemed like the appropriate response.
So, what do you all think (seeing as how I wrote an ambiguous and confusing thought-splatter about romance before, I thought it only fair that I posted the results)? Voice? Character? Was the kiss long enough to be satisfying, even though it was only a few sentences?
Gah. Now I must edit.