Summer Resolutions III

Every year I make these resolutions, and every year I get just a teensy bit closer to actually fulfilling them. Whether that’s because I’m reaching for less or because I’m trying harder isn’t something I’m going to contemplate. Anyway. 2013 hasn’t been the greatest year so far, for a multitude of reasons that I won’t go into, but partially because I didn’t achieve as much as I’d hoped. This summer, my overarching goal is to take the things that got put off this year and finally do them.

So, I’ve got three categories this year (because I’m nothing if not an organizational nutjob): Things I want to do, things I want to learn how to do, and subjects I want to read/learn about.

Things I Want To Do:

• Edit the two short stories I have finished
• Submit both of them (one is currently on submission to the Writers of the Future contest, but I’ll hear back on that in June)
• Finish the first draft of my novel, tentatively titled Life in Tights.

I don’t have as many “doing” goals this year as I have in years previous. I decided to pick just a few things to focus on, instead of trying to split my attention between five or six different projects. I have a couple of other things going right now–short stories I’m writing, ideas that are going through the brain-percolation process–but these three things are the ones that I’m going to spend my summer on. Everything else can happen later.

Things I Want to Learn How to Do:

• Learn to machine sew, and make either a skirt or a dress. I am awesome at hand-sewing but have only used a machine once or twice, and I would like to learn how. Also, I have the hardest damned time finding a skirt or dress in stores, and as I’d like to build up my closet, sewing it seems like a good way to go.
• Learn to embroider. This is for a small plushie project I’ve been wanting to do, and its something I’ve just never tried before. Might be fun.

Again, fewer goals than the last couple of years. I also decided to focus on one skill I wanted to improve (sewing) and gave up on a couple of things that, while they’re still things I someday want to do, just don’t seem like I have the time to do: quilting and learning a foreign language.

Things I Want to Learn About:

• African history, specifically Algeria and Morocco 1860-1920. This is for a possible writing project that I’ve been tossing around lately. I love steampunk and biopunk, but am getting rather bored of seeing everything set in London. It’d be fun to do a couple of short stories set in a steampunk colonial Africa, but that definitely requires tons of research on my part.
• African mythology (same region, same reasons).
• The Pinkertons. For non-American peeps, the Pinkertons were basically private police hired to break up strikes and police the railroads in the 19th and 20th centuries. They’ve got a very long and interesting history, and are a dark chapter of US labor. There’s no particular application for this knowledge yet, I just find them an interesting thing to learn about.
• Bartending. I don’t actually like to drink (the crappy wine at First Communion ruined me, I think) but I find the job of a bartender fascinating for some reason. There’s already way too many bartenders in literature, but my next large project might just need a snappy sidekick.

I find that as I get older my tastes in writing (meaning my own) are going more and more towards places and people I don’t know much about. Maybe this is just the growing out of YA phase (which wouldn’t be very good, considering that my current WIP is YA) or maybe its simply me expanding beyond the readily available subjects. I was never taught about Asian or African history in public school, and today those are two of the things that I would love to know more about.

A Year of Writing Daily!

I did it.

I did it!

It feels something like this:

And also this:

But also, unfortunately, way too much of this (not a lot, but more that I would like):

I have more eloquent and non-computer-slowing-non-gif thoughts, but first let’s have some statistics.

• Total Words Written: 188,135 (this is an estimate, as I didn’t keep track for about 40 days between the end of my Month of Writing and the point where I decided to try a year).
• Projects: Four short stories, two large fanfics, one novella, 216 pages of a novel, and 10 university essays
• Lowest day: 250 words
• Highest day: 3026 words
• Latest night: 5 am (yeah, it technically counts as the next day, but I was racing to finish a short story)

But no matter how awesome actually accomplishing this (impossible, harebrained, crazy, so-not-conducive-to-laziness) goal was, its also terrifying to be done. Here’s 2013, smacking me in the face with the fact that there is now 52 more weeks to deal with, plus the next 68 or so years of my life expectancy. Yep, I’ve been having a lot of those “stare at the ceiling and think about your own mortality” type of nights. Which might explain why, when I gave myself a weekend off from writing, it somehow turned into a month of watching Person of Interest* reruns instead of working on The Novel. I haven’t typed up anything. Not a word. No short story or novel work, no fanfiction, (stupidly) no scholarship essays, not even any of the crappy poetry that my brain occasionally indulges in. Which brings us here, smack in the face of February, with nothing on my hard drive to show for it.

And yet, I wrote. I wasn’t intending to, honestly–when my weekend was up and I still didn’t feel any grand flashes of inspiration I basically said fuck it and decided to just not write in January. When classes started, though, I found myself doing it. Not a lot, but a page or so done longhand in a notebook.** I haven’t typed any of it up yet, but its all stuff for The Novel and it is, if I may say so myself, fairly good. Maybe that was the point of this extended fallow period–it was my insecure subconscious’s way of asking, “Am I really a writer? Or am I just pounding away at this out of a sense of inertia?” I can’t keep from writing, even when I’ve given myself permission to totally not do a single thing of value. Therefore? I think I can safely say that this is what I’m meant to do.

Now comes the harder part; actually starting those resolutions that I so optimistically assigned myself in the last (real) post. I’m going to take it one month at a time this year. I did 365 days of writing; now maybe its time to try only 28. So February is going to be 500 words a day, and no procrastinating until the wee hours of the morning. I’m going to start things on time (I know! A miracle, right?). And I’m–deep breath here–going to post the fanfic I wrote while I was on Vicodin.

Yep. That last part’s going to be a doozy.

* (puts on squee-y fangirl voice) OMG–have you guys seen that show? Its awesome, like the (good) Bourne movies, except every week. And I think I may totally be in love with Harold.

**Calculus is boring. So sue me.

Expectations

Tis the season of New Year’s resolutions! (Now that we’re passed the euphoria and charm of Christmas, and into the “Ohmygod, how many pounds of chocolate did I consume?” part of the holiday season, of course). I’ve already thought of a few things that I would like to work on this coming year, namely exercising more and attempting to clear up some of the old projects that I’ve had hanging about. More specifically, I’d like to try and work out four times a week, finish up a short story that is a few pages away from done, edit another, and finally write up some unfinished fanfic ideas that have been haunting me.

But this is also the time of year to look back on the last year and see how you did. 2012 for me was something of a mixed bag. I did something that was always a goal of mine and wrote every day (or I will–I didn’t start until Jan. 3rd so there’s a few weeks left to go*) for the year. It was crazy and some days I just wanted to strangle myself for deciding to do it, but my writing output and quality are way up and I’ve finally learned to touch type. Worth it, every bit.

And yet there’s so many things that I didn’t get done, even though I expected more of myself and know I could have done better than I did. Take this blog, for example. This is the first post in a month and a half, even though my Drafts folder shows that I started a post about once a week. Or my daily writing which, while successful, topped out at 400 words per day, although I really wanted to be higher than that by now. And I can write more than that a day! Heck, even NaNo, which I did respectably at, wasn’t really what I wanted. What I wanted to do was finish, but barring that I wanted to get 35,000 words. But I quit. At 25,000. Yes there were things–family, school, unexpected and improbable occurrences of havoc–that got in the way, but I could have made a better effort to carve out just a little more time to add to the wordcount each day. I was already doing 400 a day, why didn’t I just aim for 600? Or 800? So I couldn’t do 2,000 a day, but why not halve it?

I’ve been taking a hard look at my habits this year, these past few years really, and I’m not much liking it.

I had some expectations of myself this year. I wanted to start working out consistently (like always), take time at the BEGINNING of the day to write and edit as opposed to doing it at 2 am (like always), and stop procrastinating on work to the point of being nervous about finishing (like always). Instead, I think I worked out maybe six times over a period of five months, never got work done before sunset, and put off an essay to the point where I had to write 800 words at 11 pm. The essay was due at midnight. I also have a short story sitting her on my desktop, the critiques of which I got back over a month ago. I have not yet touched it, even though I wanted to take a day while I was on break and put a good couple hours’ worth of work in.

I know that I sometimes have these expectations of myself that are impossible to achieve (deep down, I am aware I will never be a 5k-in-a-day writer, no matter how many times I tell myself, “I’ll write all Saturday!”). Like working out every day–not going to happen. No matter if its physically possible, I just don’t possess that motivation. But instead of settling for a more achievable goal, I sink into this pit of Zero Accomplishments. I get done the bare minimum of my daily wordcount, and don’t increase it even when I very well could be doing 500 a day, at the least. I write papers at the very last minute and turn them in feeling like I could have done way better. Don’t get me wrong–I usually try to start them a few weeks in advance. Somehow it doesn’t happen…and then its the night before its due.

There’s a middle ground here, between shooting for something impossible and doing only the utter minimum. I just have to get out of this mentality of giving up if I can’t hit my too-high goal. And that is my overarching resolution this year. Just to find reasonable yet high goals and work at them, and not to give up if I stumble.

****************

New Year’s Resolutions:

• Work out four times a week.
• Read some of the classics I’ve missed (I’ve never read Tolkien, nor Asimov, nor Butler–and I’m a sci-fi writer. This must be remedied).
• Keep writing (I haven’t yet decided if I will keep doing it daily after I finish out the year. This method has its advantages, but its also pretty punishing at times). Don’t go more than a week without working in The Novel.
• Begin papers at least 1.5 weeks before they’re due, and do a little each day. Begin research 2.5 weeks before papers are due, at the least. Do readings before class, and don’t let them pile up.
• Start keeping a planner again (I used to be so good at this, and then I got lazy. And then I started forgetting things).
• Blog 2x/week, even if its just to post an interesting link. Finish the orphaned drafts (You would be amazed how many I’ve got here).

 

So here’s to New Year’s, and new goals. And, of course, to finishing them.

 

*Yes, I really did start this draft when January 3rd was “a few weeks” away, as opposed to “tomorrow.” See what I mean?

I Cannot Write?

All right. I made my Winter Resolutions, pinned them to my board, swore to do everything in my power to fulfill my goals. And I promptly–resoundingly–failed.

Yes, I could wimp out and blame it on my computer failing. Or the trip out of town not too soon either. But I am man (or woman, I guess, f you want to get all PC about it) enough to admit that I had the time to write afterward. I could have at least sewn up that short story and gotten done a couple thousand words.

I didn’t even write fanfic, for god’s sake. What the hell is wrong with me that I didn’t want to write fanfic?

The one thing I did do was finish that bracelet, but that hardly counts. I’m a writer, not a jeweler. I need to write.

With that long winded semi-whine-semi-explanation, I now get to the point of this post: my winter goals are kaput. It is time that I recognized something about myself, and that is that I do not do well with infinite goals or these sorts of weekly quotas. But I do need a goal of some sort. Chronic procrastination is not an excuse.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to devise a new goal for myself. One goal, not a list of several semi-connected ones that don’t get done. There’s a theory that it takes thirty days of doing something every day to make it a habit. So for the next thirty days, I will be attempting to write 250 words a day, every day, and do a (very short) blog post a day at the end, to track my progress. For this first set of 30 days, I’m going to let fanfic count. Maybe if I keep doing it I won’t, but for starts let’s make it easy, shall we?

 

Winter Resolutions (Week 1)

Well, this will be a short one, I’m afraid. Of the eight goals I set, I accomplished…exactly 1 of them, and that one was to finish some of the stack of books I’ve started.

Several of them (writing 3,000 words per week, blogging more regularly, writing some scholarship essays and finishing my neglected short story) failed due to the fact that my laptop died, so I’m not counting those as “true” failures, just more of “the universe is evil.” One of my goals–writing 1 fanfic chapter every 2 weeks–isn’t technically a failure either, merely because my 2 weeks aren’t up yet.

Two of my goals, however, are things which I could have done and resolutely failed to do. One was get started on learning Russian. Not a lick of it. The second was finish my newsiest steampunk project, which to my credit I did work on but haven’t completed yet.

What do you think? Eventually the chains will connect back around to the key, which will act as a hook & loop clasp.

Honestly, I don’t know what the heck I did with myself all week. I read 600-700 pages, but that isn’t that much for me. I didn’t watch much television (no new episodes out during the holidays–what do they think people do with themselves on break? Bake?) and I’m not a gamer. I didn’t even have any homework, as it is winter recess. The time just kinda disappeared.

Or maybe I’ve been spending too much time on Cracked.com. But we won’t discuss that.

 

A Wrench in My Plans

Well here I am, on break, with all of my Winter Resolutions lined up, and what happens? My laptop goes kaput.

Thanks, universe.

So it’s at the computer shop, and they say they will know what’s wrong by tomorrow or the day after. What scares me is that it could be a motherboard issue (the type I have is known for them, apparently. Great) which would mean getting a whole new laptop…which I cannot afford! but it could also be something simple like a loose battery port or just an old battery.

Still there goes my writing goal, at least for this week.

Winter Resolutions

As my life still works on a school-year schedule, I do not do New Year’s Resolutions (it would be kind of silly, since I have all that time off before New Year’s). So here are this year’s Winter Resolutions.

Winter Break is December 13th to January 9th.

• Write at least 3 scholarship essays (it must be done).
• Do at least 80 minutes of Russian per week. Yes, I am still trying to learn this.
• Write at least 3,000 words per week. I know it’s low, but I’ve been really out of practice lately and I don’t want to set an unreachable goal.
• Write at least 1 fanfic chapter every two weeks.
• Finish the stack of unread comics sitting on my desk, as well as the pile of books I bought for a dollar each when Border’s was going out of business. Or at least make a dent in them.
• Finish the steampunk charm bracelet I’m working on.
• Finish that danged short story that I forgot about for three months.
• Get back to my regular blogging schedule (and lose a few pounds. Both of these things are equally unlikely).

Whoo! That should be enough for now, shouldn’t it?

Summer Resolutions: Update #7

I have had a very good week this week.

First off, I read a lot. I did the entire awesome post-modern meta-fiction scifi/steampunk anthology The Thackery T. Lambshead Cabinet of Curiosities. If you have not sought this book out, go do it. It’s one of the most imaginative books I’ve read in a while. Also, I’ve been catching up on my Marvel comics, especially Daredevil and the X-Men, which I’ve been enjoying. So far I’ve read Daredevil: Out, X-Men First Class: Class Portraits, Daredevil: The Devil, Inside and Out (volumes 1 and 2), and Daredevil: Lady Bullseye. All of it was pretty good, though I didn’t enjoy the X-Men one as most because I like my comics a bit darker. Honestly my only major problem with the Daredevil ones was that some of the artists I didn’t like as much as the others. Overall, everything I’ve read of Ed Brubaker and Brian Michael Bendis’s runs is worth reading.

I also found a well of creative inspiration this week that I haven’t been able to tap in quite awhile. For some reason my writing and my other creative pursuits just seemed to fall into place this week. I finally started my new fanfic and I feel really good about it. The first chapter is only around 700 words (I find that the ideal length is somewhere between 1,000 and 1,800) but it was a prologue.

Another nice little coincidence was hitting a scene in Project Carson that I was really looking forward to writing. I also discovered (thanks to Wikipedia-trawling) a fact that finally ironed out a plot hole.

Overall, I wrote 2,679 words which is about 536 words per day. Over double last week’s totals! Still not quite where my goal was (750words/day for a 5-day workweek) but I am feeling good about my projects and progress.

All in all, a pretty successful week for me. I feel like I’m finally working my way back up to my pre-break productivity. Woo hoo!

Summer Resolutions: Update #5

It felt very nice to start writing again this week after a very (very) long period of only getting down a couple hundred words per week. I still have two stories that aren’t completely edited from workshop, though one is further along than the other. That’s going to be this week’s project, so that I can start submitting those, but I’m wondering how to count revision in words. A half hour equals 100 words? No clue.

I read Going Bovine by Libba Bray (told you I love her) this week. It’s the story of a kid with mad cow disease going on a madcap adventure across the country. It was also very good. I might not call it her best, because it’s been several years since I read the Gemma Doyle Trilogy but I utterly loved them when I did. The protagonist of Bovine felt very real to me, and although the book got a bit muddled in the middle he carried it through. If you want to read Bray, I’d suggest going with either the trilogy or Bovine, and save Beauty Queens  for later.

This book was extremely interesting for another reason too–I could see Beauty Queens in it. All the themes present in Queens seem to have had their genesis in Bovine. Consumerism, apathy, fulfillment, and anti-intellectualism are present here, as is some of Bray’s satirical wit in sections about a happiness cult and a super-Christian jock. Maybe it’s my English-major side coming out, but it gives me a little thrill to see continuity like this in an author’s work.

I didn’t do any fanfic last week, although I finally have a good idea of what I will be doing. Overall I wrote 1307 words which is a total of …261 words per day?!

What? That’s it?

*sigh* Take this as a lesson, boys and girls. When you neglect your writing for 5 weeks it feels like more work than it is once your finally get back to it.

Summer Resolutions: Update #4

This week I wrote every day, something I haven’t been able to do in the first three weeks. Of course, I still didn’t get an exceptional amount of writing done, but I think the write-every-day habit is finally starting to happen. Maybe someday it’ll be like not brushing my teeth–I’ll just feel off until I do it. This week I did a total of 2995 words, which is 600 a day (well, really its 599, but so sue me for rounding up). I also hit my exercise and blogging goals, which was nice.

I also finished the book I talked about in my last update, If on a winter’s night a traveler by Italo Calvino. There’s really nothing I can say to describe this book except that the way Calvino plays with language is something that no one who loves literature should miss. It even has theis beautiful sex scene described using all language metaphors.

And this week–finally!–I finished a long overdue fanfic. It isn’t my best by a long shot, nor was it what I expected to turn out, but it’s there and it’s decent enough to be posted. Part of it was that it just wasn’t the greatest idea, and part of it was this one didn’t speak to me. But I have a policy against rewriting fanfics (otherwise that’s all I’d write) so up it goes. Hurrah! Now if only I could get some reviews…

I think next week I’ll read The Greyfriar by Clay & Susan Griffith. It’s a steampunk-vampire mashup where vampires have taken over the northern, cold regions of the globe and so this pseudo-Victorian human society exists around the equator. I’ve read around 30 pages of it so far. I like the plot a lot–an interesting departure from the Twilight-style vamps.

I also got a stack of Flashpoint comics and am going through those. For anyone who cares about comics, please send all feedback about the DC Comics reboot to them asap!